The Subtle Art of Participating in an Interview

Pretty habitual of me to start with a misleading title – but I hope it did two things; piqued your interest into reading this, and at the end of it, gives you something to think about when taking interviews. Yes, this is not me teaching you how to give an interview. I despise the words ‘taking’ and ‘giving’ an interview.

The word interview comes from French and Latin origins, and it means to ‘see between’ and ‘see each other’. I don’t know who decided it is going to be a monolithic questionnaire which needs to be designed to penetrate the soul of a job applicant, but whoever it was clearly had the ego of a potato.

Cursing aside, we have started to think of interviews as screening sessions, and that ought to, almost always, bring out the gaps in someone, more than it shows you their qualities. You should definitely use such methods, if your intention is to hire them in a company or a team that is consistently under pressure and you have a cut-throat culture. If you are one of those, or want to be like that, now is a good time to close this tab (Ctrl/Cmd + W – no need to thank me).

Alright, now that we have gotten rid of the wicked, let me share the blueprint to a couple of interviewing techniques and tips that I have found to be useful. All of these are built on the premise that you want to have a meaningful and insightful conversation with the person in front of you and get to know their best qualities, both as a person, and as a professional. With the assumption that the work culture is going to continue this experience for the job applicant, if they are hired.

Start Casually

Set the tone straight – nobody in their right mind (specially in other-world countries like Pakistan) are expecting anything other than a grilling session. You have to loosen them up. Talk about their hobbies, their family, a book that they love, anything but work. Spend a good couple of minutes getting them to share things about who they are and try to find common ground between yourself, the kind of people you already have, and the applicant.

This immediately makes them comfortable, and in turn, tells them that this interview is going to be easier than they thought it would be. This also lowers their walls and makes it less likely that they filter their answers in trying to impress you. Honesty is what you are looking for.

The Journey

A big part of someone’s behavior, personality, and skills, come from early education and sometimes even childhood. Walk with them and understand why they chose the path that they chose. This can be something as simple as ‘why did you choose to major in this’ and as detailed as ‘talk to me about the subject you loved the most and how you did with it in college/school/home’.

Of course, if someone is a drop-out or a down-right un-formally-educated person like myself, you would have to tweak your questions. Be respectful, their exposure to a university or a school tells you about their background more than how they reacted to it, and that is what you should be interested in.

Unsettle Them

I know, defeats the purpose, right? It does not. The sole reason why I like to switch subjects between every 1-2 questions is because I want the applicant to remain open and honest and not form constructs in their mind about where the conversation will go next. A surprising question not only give you a brutally honest response, it also makes it feel more like a casual conversation.

Of course, the key here is to make the connection between the two subjects you jump but it doesn’t have to be too obvious. For example, after asking why the candidate chose ‘software engineering’ as their major, and getting a response like ‘I did it because I was good at logic and I could see that I can have a successful career in it’, you can safely expect them to think that the next question can be about their current state of mind with it, or about building logic. Instead, you could ask them about their decision-making and if it has evolved from then to now. A subtle connection, and a highly valuable question, that you could not have asked straight.

Personal Lives

A person is not just a professional – nobody in their right mind can leave their emotional baggage at home and come to work with a singular focus. It is inhumane to expect that, and it also inhumane to try and separate the two parts of a person. It is very important to understand what drives a person to go and work. And it is always more than a bunch of things.

For example, people who would say that I work because I like it, haven’t really thought about it. Do not settle for less detail, ask them to dive deeper into their motivations. We don’t have Maslow’s pyramid tattooed inside our frontal lobe, human beings are complex and they need multiple factors to form loyalty with their work. It is important that you, your team, and your company has a good amount of overlap with this person for a long-term relationship.

Open Up

The most important ingredient to all of this is a two-way dialogue. Open up yourself – if they share something about their life, work, education, previous experiences, try and give them something back as well. It should never, I repeat, NEVER feel like an interview. Anyone is 100% more likely to be honest and open with you if you do the same with them.

Ask them to ask you questions, and not about the company and how many sick leaves we allow, we have documents for that. People are hesitant in asking too many questions but it is important for them to have the same level of clarity as you to make a sound decision. At the end of the day, if they do not have enough buy-in, they will eventually quit.

Benefit of Doubt

Here comes the controversial part – I want you to see the best in everyone, give them the benefit of the doubt, give them 100% trust right off-the-bat. Yes, it is risky and dangerous, but the other person is doing the same. No matter what financial terms they settle on, they will give this company blood, sweat, and tears – and they deserve to be seen at their best.

This gives birth to a larger culture, where people bring their A-game to the table, every single time. It brings ownership and responsibility and no serious team can operate without it.

No matter how many employee-friendly policies you have, if the people and the culture are not aligned with each other, retention will always be a challenge.

Afterword

Before you be all judgy, this blueprint comes from taking more than a 1000 interviews (I kid you not), in different organizations and has a very high success rate of understanding and developing meaningful connections with people from the interviews.

This is not a perfect recipe, but it will hopefully give you enough to stand on. What techniques do you use in interviews? I would love to hear about them and if you think this is absolute bonkers, let me know. I would definitely not agree with you, but it is good to know that there are other mindsets out in the wild, and how I need to do my best to avoid crossing paths with them.